Stop Listening to the Negative Self-Talk Track; Start Focusing on the Best Pieces of You

Today we have guest post from the amazing Melissa Clampitt, who successfully manages being a mom and CEO of Your Lifestyle HOA in Lewes. DE. Take it away Melissa…

So I have to tell you that Dr. Katie asked me to write a guest blog back in May!!! Over 4 months ago!!! Now you may be wondering why are you telling me this! Aren’t you supposed to be sharing some inspiration, motivation, knowledge, and something super meaningful? And I would answer YES! That is the point…but the truth is I want you to know the process it took to get me to write this here today!!!

When Katie texted me and said she wanted to shine my energy as a mom and entrepreneur, I got a lump in my throat! I immediately thought;

“What am I going to write about? I am not a writer! I have only written papers for projects, but not to put myself out there on the web! I don’t have anything good to share! I have never written a piece for people to read! I am not an expert in anything! I don’t have time! I already have a lot on my plate! I am scared! What if she reads it and doesn’t think it will be good enough to share on her platform! What if someone makes a bad review and as I am sitting here typing I feel that same lump in my throat and tears in my eyes!”

These were all of the negative tracks I had going on in my own head.

The truth is from the outside, I am athletic, a ball of energy, own two businesses, mom of three boys, married to an amazing supportive husband, passionate about many things, a nurturer by nature, speak positivity into everyone I meet. But on the inside I have a stream of negative self-talk that goes through my head on a daily basis, such as all of the things I listed above. But the main one is I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

Why would this come up? I had an amazing childhood with two parents that loved and supported me! A brother and sister, just like any family, we had our moments but would have my back no matter what. I have a beautiful and healthy family that I am thankful for each day! My husband and I have a successful restaurant. I also own my own online health and wellness business. I am in the best shape of my life. I am truly living my best life! AND I AM…but I am holding myself back. And the point of me writing all of this down is because I know so many other women are here too.


I am going to list 5 things that have really helped me in finding my purpose, letting go of what other people think, stopping the comparison game, and just feeling comfortable being me! I hope you find value and these steps help you along your journey as well!

1. Be you.

Now this is something you hear all the time right. Just be you because everyone else is taken! But it is so true! If you want to really live YOUR life, you have to be true to yourself.

From your core you have to just be you! You have to love everything about yourself (your crazy hair, the chip on your tooth, the way you dress, how you parent, what you do for fun, etc.) and it isn’t always easy. But realize that no one is perfect…even if they seem like it on social media! We all have our own crap, but most people don’t put it out there for others to see. So just be authentically happy with every little imperfect thing about you.

2. Find what your purpose is and go for it.

This isn’t always that simple. I’ll be honest. I was a teacher for 10 years and I really had a passion for it. But as I got older, I had kids, my priorities shifted. And that is OK. Everything in life evolves and we as humans must shift too.

I felt inadequate as a teacher and mother because I couldn’t be perfect at either one. So I had to take a deep look inside myself and figure out what did I want. What made me excited everyday? Why was I on this earth? Was I happy in what I was doing? The answer was “no” to all of these questions, which meant it was time for a change.

Listen ladies….you have to BET on yourself! You have the power to change your life. You have the choice to do something different. You have the pen to write your own story. So go do it! Even if people think you are crazy, and they will, you need to follow your dreams.

3. Stop comparing yourself to other moms and business owners.

OMG! This one will make you want to ball up under your sheets and just stay in bed all day because you will never be as good as that mom who shows up each day on time and made homemade cupcakes for the school party! You will never be as good as the mom who is always calm with her kids and doesn’t lose her marbles in the grocery store when the kids have asked a million times for a snack and you keep saying “NO” and you’ve finally reached your limit!

So be easy on yourself and just stop. Just be you. Be the best you can be and give yourself a little grace to know that you are doing your best.

As long as your kids are happy and love you (they might not act like it), you keep your kids safe, you give them your focused time, you provide them with the necessities, you are doing amazing! Stop comparing to other women who are doing things you want to do. Just go out there and do it.

I am so proud of Katie for making this group. Writing these blogs. Taping her podcasts. She is a rockstar. But, don’t compare yourself to her. Send her love and gratitude that she is adding value to all of us and then go do your thing! Stop getting on FB or Instagram and getting lost in the ‘scroll hole.’ This is a waste of time and can make you a Debbie Downer Just don’t do it!

4. Let go of what other people think.

Other people’s opinions don’t fund your dreams!

Once you decide what your purpose is, go after it like there is no tomorrow. People are going to try to talk you out of it. And, unfortunately, a lot of the time it is the people that are the closest to you. They are doing this to ‘protect’ you, but you have to put your blinders on and just run. Go after it and don’t worry about the naysayers. They will always be out there. Instead, surround yourself with people who will lift you up and not tear you down. You need to find your tribe.

5. Set intentions for the day and write out your affirmations.

I do these two things daily and it has really helped me focus on my day.

First thing in the morning I write out my intentions of the things I want to see take place that day. The people I want to attract into my life. And read it with feeling. Then I write out a few affirmations each day. I almost always start them with an “I am.” I am enough! I am successful in everything I do! I am calm and peaceful in every situation! I am abundant in all areas of my life! You get the point. Just start doing it and see if you notice a difference in how things might start evolving in your life when you set your intention of what YOU want to happen!



Just another mom trying to be better than she was the day before=)

Melissa Clampitt

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