Do you know women are considered to be a vulnerable population?
Well it’s true…at least that’s what people say.
Women are vulnerable right next to children and the elderly. I have seen and experienced working moms feeling vulnerable and insecure in our place in the world. I have seen women stay in marriages and in jobs that they are terribly mistreated and dissatisfied with because they are insecure, uncertain, and vulnerable. This post is going to focus on how to create your own security which can only be done by first exploring what drives our current behaviors.
The 6 Human Needs
Today I want to share the 6 human needs presented by Tony Robbins which help us all make sense of our why we do what we do AND to help us navigate making changes. The infamous Tony Robbins has spoken all over the world working with hundreds of thousands of people and has determined we all make decisions based on the following 6 human needs. They are as follows:
- Certainty. The needing to know, feeling secure, having a sense of predictability.
- Uncertainty. This refers to spontaneity and surprises. Although we often like surprises of our own choosing, not all surprises are welcomed!
- Power and/or Significance. People create their own sense of power if they do not feel any. We can have power in healthy or unhealthy ways.
- Love and/or Connection. All people need to experience love and connection. We settle for connection when truly opening ourselves up to love is too threatening.
- Spiritual and/or Interpersonal Growth toward our Life Goals. This is not reaching our goals in and of themselves but the movement and action toward them. This is noticing how we improve, grow, and evolve.
- Impact on Others. We all have a need to have an impact on others, its my goal to have a positive impact on others around me.
Any behavior that meets one or more of these needs is reinforced. Take some time to think about behaviors in your life. Maybe consider your healthy behaviors like running, going to therapy, saving money, or meeting work deadlines…how are your human needs met in these actions. You can consider negative actions such as drug use, violence, and sexual disorders in the same way…the more human needs it fulfills in the list above the more the behavior occurs.
How You Can Create Security
So, back to the topic of creating security. We now all know we crave certainty…some more than others. How can you take these 6 needs and create more security in your world? Begin by identifying which behaviors you feel uncertain or vulnerable about. Is it money? Is it your relationship? Is it your body? Maybe it’s all of the above but I would like you to pick one topic.
I will work through one previously insecure topic for myself and how I moved toward feeling more secure. Several years ago I had a significant amount of financial insecurity due to life situations, not managing money well, and not having knowledge of healthy management. I grew up in a household believing there was not enough money and when you had it you had to spend it as if it was going to expire. I started my new relationship with money by changing my thinking about money to create security. One thought was you are never too broke to save…even 5% of your paycheck. This increased my certainty of money (#1). Next I set a goal to save $1,000 (human need #5). Next was using the Ramsey model of eliminating debt which helped me and I shared it with others (human need #6). As I eliminated debt I felt more power and significance (human need #3). You can see the snowball effect of setting several little goals.
These little goals are small steps toward a bigger picture which is obtainable for all people. These small steps also helped me feel more secure in a insecure world and can be applied to any topic you are feeling shaky about.
Take the time to share what you want to improve upon.
Awareness to our areas that need improvement are the first steps to change.
By the way, women are not a vulnerable population. We are strong and powerful in every way!