When you’re a mother and working full-time, quality time with your partner can be extremely limited. To be honest, that’s not always a bad thing. When you have time to yourself, you and your partner have an opportunity to pursue your own interests, maintain your individuality, and relax. In fact, time apart can help keep your relationship fresh and a little less stressful.
The optimal time that couples spend apart can vary. But, when there seems to be frequent friction between you and your partner because you rarely enjoy each other’s company, that can become a problem that needs to be addressed. After all, spending time together helps strengthen your relationship, encourages you to interact with each other in a positive way, creates shared experiences, and allows you to genuinely enjoy each other’s company — it also keeps the intimacy alive and well.
Of course, saying that you want to spend quality time with your partner and making it a reality are completely different. But, here are 7 ways that you can start making quality time with your significant other today.
1. Talk about it.
In order to make any sort of change in your life, you need to have a declared objective. In this case, it’s being honest with your partner and letting them know that you want to start spending more quality time with them. Then, together as a couple, you can start brainstorming ideas and planning on how to make this happen.
Just remember to actually listen to each other and be receptive to each other’s ideas.
2. Mark it on you calendar.
You could do this at the end of every month or every month — it depends on how much a planner you are!
Think about how much time you want to spend together every week and then note the actual amount of time you did spend with each other. It can give you a better idea of how much time you can realistically spend time alone. If the you actual spend together is far lower than what you intended, then you need to appraise where you’re time is being mostly spent and start making adjustments.
Also, speaking of your calendar, when you plan something like a date night, schedule it in your calendar like you would a business meeting or doctor’s appointment, meaning that it’s a commitment that you’re going to make.
3. Find time throughout the day to do something together.
My husband and I exercise with each other daily. This not only keeps us mentally and physically in-shape, it also gives us a chance to spend time together without the kids.
Besides exercise, you could take a class together, volunteer in your community, or even just do daily chores, such as going to the grocery store or cleaning the house together.
Whatever it is, the point is to find opportunities to spend face-to-face time together where you can do something that you both enjoy or simply having an uninterrupted conversation.
4. Do things together even what you’re apart.
Even if you’re not in proximity with each other, you can still do things with one another. It could be anything from reading the same book to setting exercise goals.
5. Reduce wasted time.
I know that there are times when you’re so busy that you don’t even have a 10-minutes to yourself, let along 10-minutes to spare with your partner. However, that shouldn’t be the norm. In fact, there are multiple times throughout the day that where you could squeeze-in some time for your better half.
For example, during your lunch break or while sitting in a waiting room, send your partner a flirtatious text or simply ask them how they’re day is going. Most importantly, when you are alone together, put the phone away so that you can give each your full attention.
6. Be spontaneous.
As a mom, you don’t have the luxury of being spontaneous all that often. You may not ever have this opportunity. But, there are still ways to be spontaneous. For example, line-up someone to watch the kids on a Saturday and just go on an unplanned adventure. It keeps life exciting and gives you both something to look forward to each month.
7. Plan your next vacation accordingly.
I love family vacations. However, they can be hectic. Besides spending quality time with each of my children, my husband and I can get irritated with each other that we don’t have alone time.
One solution is to look for destinations that provide child care services or supervised programs or activities for your kids. Another option is to bring along a family member who can help watch the kids. I’ve brought parents and siblings on our vacations so that they can watch the kids while we go out for a run or if we need to have a quiet dinner alone.
Do you have any unique ways that you and your partner make the time to spend with each other? If so, share that with us in the comments below.